Normal, are you?

If someone would ask this question to people who know me a little more, most of them would say, a little reluctantly, a little unsure - “Yaar kuchh to alag sochata aur karta hai, normal to nahin hai” (He is a little different, he is not normal). If you ask me the same question, I would say, “Surely not”.

What about normalcy? This morning, when I was meditating, suddenly this thought came to me that normalcy doesn’t have to do with the word ‘normal’ as we use it in equivalence with the word natural (for example, it is normal to take wine for your host when invited for dinner or as Christiaan told me yesterday, it is normal not to open the same wine for dinner) but it is rather to do with a derivative of the word, used in statistical or economic context – normalize, which means dividing an array of numbers by their mean or scale up or down quantity or price of a thing to set it to 1.

The etymology of normal leads to ‘norm’ and in one instant that makes it different from the word natural. In this context, it would be ideal to quote the following definition of normalization from sociological point of view:

Normalization is a process whereby behaviours and ideas are made to seem normal" through repetition, or through ideology, propaganda, etc., often to the point where they appear natural and taken for granted.

Thinking of human behaviour and tendencies and pondering over them in light of ‘natural’ normal or sociological normalization, all would agree that what is done by most people or what most would instinctively do is normal. For example, even married or committed men don’t shy and rather come bold in arguing that flirting with or eyeing other women is normal.

For babus (clerks), bribery is normal. For babus of the west, not taking bribe might be normal. For people in India, working overtime is normal. For people, at least in Netherlands, not staying in office after 5 pm is normal. Always wanting more money and power, always appearing good and talking sweet, patriotism, being crazy about one’s girlfriend or boyfriend, sympathizing with sorrow of others (and hardly empathizing) and so many things are normal. Forgetting god in good times and remembering in bad times (and boldly or sheepishly blaming him too) is also normal.

In the light of above arguments, normalcy in first context (‘natural’ normal) is union of items, which are socially acceptable (norms!) and instinctively human. What about normalcy in context of the meanings statistically or economically normalized have?

Take for example 10 people, with asset holding in proportion of 1 to 10 (i.e. 1, 2 …, 9, 10). What would be the normalized asset holding. Too simplistic I know, but well to start with. I would quote the principle of communism that my father told one very ardent communist once:

Communism means working according to capacity and payment according to need.

What about the everlasting quench for money and power. I don’t want any? Doesn’t help, can’t live. I want all. Surely you are in mess. Normal, in this case, would be something, which is good enough and sufficient for my needs.

To talk about behavior, I must admit openly that I am tired of western politeness. Saying things even when most of the times you don’t feel them. What is normal? Of course there are times when I feel thankful of people, of God and I should convey it. Or at least feel the gratitude. To say it mechanically every time – sorry!

To talk about politeness – being nice even when you feel like shouting at someone. Is that normal? I remember a very good incident when we went for a full Sunday satsangh (group meditation) program to Brussels and we had one of our European center-in-charge there. He was in a little rough mood today and somebody asked him why is he in such a rough mood when he has come for such an event. He replied curtly, something like, “I am not expected to be nice all the time”.

I have brought myself to stalemate because all my reasons are indicating that normalcy has to do with being natural. Anywhere you feel a stretch from natural while doing something – there must be some deviation from natural.

But mind you, being natural is not being instinctive which most of us take to be natural or normal. For most of us, instinct is a product of processed information and experiences. Bad pizza at New York Pizza and there is an instinct the next time. Friend says Switzerland is heaven on earth and there is an instinct.

So our instincts don’t only determine our future actions but also our response. On the other hand, natural behaviour is a product of nature with nothing in background.

I am sure life would be more simple and happy in the normal I see. My experience of this ongoing transformation is that the spaghetti in the brain dissolves and you feel a relief you can’t imagine. Hopefully the dissolved spaghetti would evaporate one day with nothing left.

I am sure readers would find arguments and exceptions to my reasons and I would be the most happy to learn about them (when Richard Bach can find loopholes in Christ’s saying, my arguments are hardly at stake).

To end with, I would quote Richard Bach from Illusions; I think he hints a way back to real normalcy:

In order to live free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice.

Luxembourg

4 of us including me, Zubin, Rishabh and Rohit went to The Grand Duchy of Luxembourg the last weekend.

Luxembourg as a touristic place has 2 main attractions: its natural beauty and its castles. After a long 5.5 hrs train journey, we reached Luxembourg city. Since we had limited time, we didn't spend any time in the city and went straight to Echternach.

Echternach is one of the small towns in the region of Mullerthal (Luxembourg is geographically divided into five regions - Ardennes, Mullerthal, Luxembourg city, Moselle and Red rocks). Mullerthal is also called as "the little Switzerland". We reached Echternach around 2 pm and spent a lot of time in finding a place for eating with constraints of being cheap, a place where people understand English and the biggest one being the constraint of finding vegetarian food. Ultimately we found one (though "horror stories" were revealed to me later!).

View of the centre of Echternach

After having some good meal, we started with the real tour. Echternach is very famous for its forests and many trekking trails. Following Lonely Planet's recommendation, we went for the "best trail", i.e. a 2.5 km trail named as Trail B. The recommendation turned out to be indeed very good. Despite a tiring and sweating start (mind it, this was my first real trekking in life!!!), we really got attuned to the roads.

The photos session begin but also the difficulty and challenge of taking pictures in the dark when we were in the middle of the forest. Rishabh has a good digital SLR, good photography sense and good command over the camera. Rohit too knows more than me (we have the same camera). I was feeling a little bad about not exploring the features of such a good (and expensive) camera in the last 6 months. Zubin was hardly taking any pictures :-P (a little shameful of not having a "hi-fi" camera like the three of us).

Zubin on the foot of a fallen tree

A confined area with steep ladders leading you further

You may see the not-so-good quality of photos (dark) above but that's close to real! Two characteristics of the Echternach forest are special: its dense-packed lanky (long and slim) trees and its rocks. The lanky trees are either be very green or dry with many thorns (could be season-specific feature).

Trees' density could be double or triple of these! Many big beautiful rocks

Four of us on a fallen tree's trunk

I really like them and they look even more beautiful when seen from the roadside. If only I had my Madhuri Dixit, I would be running around the forest singing romantic songs! The rocks are really large and many shapes are close to devils with one eye or no nose or big mouth.

The calm of the forest and its fresh air, it seemed to me, not only rejuvenated us but also cleaned/opened some sort of physical obstructions in my body, which might be a result of the city living with polluted air and very less physical work. The spiritual atmosphere of the place was very good and the relationship between human interference or indulgence and the atmosphere (physical, spiritual) was very clear. I think this applies to the whole of Luxembourg when comparing it with other European nations, as is my feeling. I really wanted to sit there in the middle of forest and meditate for some time but that would mean unnecessary waiting for my companions.

It started getting dark and we started getting a little worried about the trail. Trail B finished somewhere and Trail B1 was seen. We had to get out somewhere on the road from where we could catch bus.

While searching for a way out, we also came across one (as it looked like) arena. Not sure whether it was used by kings/knights in the past or it is a recent construction for some performances, but we were happy to see it. After some photographs and some rest, we continued with our search and finally found a way out.

The arena

Thanks to the guidance of a bhalaa maanav, we found the bus stand. Now comes the criticism. If there is something not good about Luxembourg, it is its public transport. The buses and the trains are the best looking lot I have seen in Europe but the frequency is very bad and poor guys like us who depend on public transport suffer great deal waiting for buses. On almost all connections, the frequency is once an hour or at best twice an hour at peak hours. Further, there are not many direct connections even between famous stops.

Having said that, the frequency of buses is agreeable with the population and with the fact that most of the families would have cars. But after all this, something egregious happened with us. We were waiting for a bus after finishing out Echternach trek. A bus, supposed to depart at 20:25, came and left at 20:15, while we were just going towards it to board it.

Another not-so-good thing about Luxembourg (may be an Asian's criticism) is the extreme-chill life people live there. Most of the shops - even restaurants - were closed by 6 pm and thus you are reduced to a few options. The debacle of bus timings and restaurants scarcity had a combined adverse effect to the extent that we had nothing but an icecream between 3 pm and 10:30 pm.

A single building, a hotel in a whole sq. km area of more!

After all the criticism, few words of high praise about the hotel receptionist (guy) of the youth hostel of Hostelling International. In such a chill country life, it was great to find a guy who waited for us at expense of his delay and served life-saving good breakfast food as dinner 2 hours after the actual timings of hotel restaurant. I was quite confident that despite a tiring day, most of us would be unable to sleep with such an empty belly. This event also made me realize how affluence is killing all our tolerance and that despite all affluence, times like these may come, leading into self-reflection.

On Sunday, we visited the castles in Beaufort and Vianden. Although Vianden is more famous, I personally liked Beaufort more because of the beauty it holds in its ruin. We didn't spend much time in Beaufort because there was a (supposed) free English guided tour at Vianden at 1 pm. Those 20 minutes spent there were good enough since it is a small castle. Got a few photographs of the castle, a few rooms including the torture room (not putting pics here to avoid any haunting imaginations) etc.

Sunny day from the Beaufort castle

Beaufort castle (one of my best photographs)

On our way to Vianden, we read a pamphlet given in Beaufort on the feudal system of the middle ages. It was quite an interesting read to find how such a small country was divided under so many small towns/forts leading to so many castles and much feud later (wondering if the word feudal and feud are etymologically linked!). It also talked about how sons of higher families were either doomed to become knights (the stronger ones, the elder ones) or end up in monastery (the youngers or the weaks) and how these knights ended up encroaching upon the monastery lands and later into robbery and dacoity and later got the reputation of "robber knights".

I liked the part where they were sarcastic about knights' idle ways of life. In Vianden, we took a free (again!) chair lift to the top of a hill. The chair lift was OK - I had a misimpression that it would be adventurous but it was dead slow for adventure standards. It was actually just a mean of transport.

Free chair lift to the top of the hill

We had our lunch at the hilltop. This is where I came across horror stories about penetration of non-vegetarian food into life, at least in the West. Examples like French fries fried in beef-oil to make it crispy irritated me and I suddenly came into contemplative mood as to where draw the boundary.

Anyways, we had a spiral trip through the woods from here to the Vianden castle. Rishabh clicked a very beautiful photo of the Vianden city along with the castle.

View of Vianden city (courtesy Rishabh)

The free guided tour of Vianden (comes free with the family pass) never happened. We were told it has never happened in history except for pre-planned and pre-booked tours.Vianden castle is also good though not as great as was highlighted in Lonely Planet. Some photos from the Vianden castle are here:

Vianden castle (courtesy Rishabh)

Solid entry into the Vianden castle

Robots of the past - wonder how easy they walked 100s of miles

Devil's eyes (just one of the rooms)

The devil himself (जल्लाद के अस्त्र शस्त्र पर ज़रा गौर फरमाइये)

मैंखाना (look at the barrles of alcohol)

So, all in all, a very good trip. A few tips for people planning to spend their weekend there:

1. Reach there by Friday night if possible. Spending saturday morning in Luxembourg is more worthwhile than spending it in the train.

2. Get the family weekend pass of 34 euros for maximum 5 people if you are in a group. Very cheap and gives free access to all internal public transport and many castles and the chair lift.

3. If you have car or motorbike, life can't be better in Luxembourg.

Q&A

This should be a small one and that should reflect my impression about the novel in the very first line.

The book is centred around a 18 year old boy, living in Dharavi and working as a waiter in some bar. He ends up winning the largest amount on a show called as Who Will Win a Billion (W3B). This is followed by an arrest because of the claims of fraudulent win and 12 stories narrated afterwards to a lawyer - of 12 different incidents and happenings in his life, which gave him the answers to all questions, coincidentally striking luck with events of his life. Each story ends up with the related question.

The novel started as a good one, I must say. Different stories giving highlights of the real picture behind Indian metropolitan slums, foreigners' view about "Bloody Indians", poverty, molestation. Even homosexuality (not sure how realistic that is in a statistical sense of word).

But as I say all of the above, it becomes already clear that all negative features are well manifested and projected. Something that doesn't feel right. Not only for my love for the homeland but also from a realistic point of view. All the above considered (still not accepting homosexuality to the levels it has been projected ...), there are also good things about Indians. Things which are more innate in nature.

What is further not-so-good about the book is this aspect of serendipity and the "revelation" that the world is round and it is getting smaller. I mean everything goes well in the end and all bad people are finished, all good characters are united in a family. I was hoping (badly) that one coincidence would not come, but alas, that too came.

Some stories are very interesting and very well narrated and that is a good part of the book. The book is also simple to read - very easy English. Hence, it is not very strong from literature point of view but then it is easy to finish it at a go even for someone like me (what to say of my voracious friends?).

Anyways, for people who like to watch chiller Bollywood movies to appreciate Hollywood or better Bollywood movies more, this is an (anyway) entertaining novel. After reading it, you would definitely appreciate a better novel ever more.

The novel, I read, is set for becoming a movie and theatre. Strange, interesting stories with the feel-good and coincidental aspects, I still maintain that it will be a good and entertaining movie.

Being John Malkovich

When I first heard the name, I had a mis-impression that it would be more like a biography film on the actor John Malkovich, who would have lived a strange or special life and this movie would cover that. But this movie, was really about "being" John Malkovich. And it is not one but many being John Malkovich.

The main poster (or the punchline at the bottom) says it all:


I don't know which genre would best descibe the movie. Drama yes. Sci-fi - people might disagree but I think it is a subtler sci-fi than the likes of Star Wars and others who have crazily dressed people and out-of-the-world guns and instruments (no offence!). This is imagination which feels plausible at the psychological level. I would like to call it bio-psy-fi.

The movie is centred around three characters, one of whom (a talented and unsuccessful puppeter) finds a secret portal which leads into the mind of John Malkovich, from where one can peep into, involve into John Malkovich and also compell John Malkovich into doing something - for 15 minutes. The wife of this one discovers herself to be transexual when she has peeped into Malkovich. The third one directly meets and indulges with Malkowich. And with the wife.

What turns out is a total mess of which the biggest victim is John Malkovich, the puppet, himself. There are other suspenses and twists-n-turns in the movie, but I better don't disclose them.

The story writer is none another than Eternal Sunshine of Spotless Mind and Adaptation fame: John Kaufman. He is fast becoming one of the idols for me and I am definitely going to buy Adaptation. As for rest, the characters and performances don't need any mention. Í couldn't recognize Cameron Diaz first and I hadn't seen Catherine Keener before (am telling myself, "Zindagi barbaad hai meri, abhi tak Catherine Keener ko nahin dekha tha" :-P). And I hadn't seen John Malkovich too before. His performance too was stunning.

The best part of the story is the end. I must admit that I had misunderstood the end a little before I got it clarified from the internet. But anyways, all my top favourites have something about the end - drama, beauty, tragedy, shock etc. - but of a higher level. But this is one movie, that has in its end - happiness (for the girls), , drama (all), comedy (on end result), tragedy (for man) and beyond all - wonder (for all the occupants and subsequent vessel).

Sorry but not more disclosures but I recommend all to watch it. There is a lot of adult talk and little adult stuff in the movie and if that is not a barrier, it is a movie worth watching (unless you don't like or appreciate complex movies).

After all, some movie, after long, has finally managed to surpass my favourites (the likes of Life is Beautiful, American Beauty, Eternal Sunshine of Spotless Mind, Amadeus and The Matrix) and emerge as the top favourite on the list.

B E A utiful

I have never been very creative with words, so I am just exclaiming with the Title as Jim Carry would do, had he seen such a beautiful nazaara. I was thinking of giving the title as 'The Ultimate Beauty' but my English savvy friends would regard that as a cliche and possibly disregard the post as unworthy. Then I thought of something more complicated like 'Sundartaa ki Paraakashthaa', but I fear many of my young Indian friends would ask me whether this is Hindi or Sanskrit and bring the language to a shame.

I came to India at the worst possible, but at least for me, the best possible time. Although it was raining hard in Mumbai and Pune and later in Banswara (what to say about the excellent weather in Tiruppur!!!), it killed the heat, which otherwise would have killed this spoiled Dutch boy.

Coming to the point, I was flying Ahmedabad to Mumbai by Jet Airways (and again digressing...) and as all my India visits are, this one too was full of running (despite all rains!), trying to catch up with as many friends and family and relatives as I can, not forgetting to mention visiting the Ashrams and meeting the Master. So it was a morning flight and I was very tired.

The breakfast 'bell' woke me up. I was sitting on a window seat with my sleeping face turned towards the window and then what I saw was pure beauty!

My Gujju neighbour was kind enough not to mind my disturbing his (already served and started) breakfast and getting the camera out of my bag. In fact, he too took out his mobile and started clicking pictures.

Now what would you call it?


I really have no words. My breakfast was still waiting and later the flight attendant too but I didn't mind.


I continue clicking pictures, keeping in mind the scratches in my window. My Dutch colleagues and acquaintances must see these pictures and then they will realize (they already know) that what they call heavy rain is nothing more than a drizzle for us.

The following is the best photograph from the lot and possibly the best photograph I have ever clicked. Just look at the split sun, the vivid colours, the ocean of clouds ... ah! I never believed G I Gurdjieff when he says, "The power of the sun is divine", but I don't mind agreeing him for the moment.

I also tried catching the clouds without the sun. Luckily I found some gaps and but we were at a height of 11000 m, we could hardly see the ground. Rather, the gap looked like liquid water contained by these enormous clouds, ready to burst and let the hell loose over the doomed.

This is another beauty I clicked when I was lucky to find a mountain of cloud in this ocean of clouds.

In the beginning, another name that occurred to me was 'Kahin Khushi, Kahin Gum', because though I and others were feeling lucky above the clouds, people below were praying or doing a yagya or just cursing Indra bhagwaan (while fearing at the same time his powers and rage to repeat 26th July or recreate the history).

After clicking such rare pictures, I got a little easy and the pictures to follow are marred by the scratches in the window. Nevertheless, they are a small treasure, which will be with me. I also took 3 vidoes but I doubt they will add any beauty to this blog. Anyway, they are more than 50 MB and I dare not to upload them and later give the link to others. The end had to come and I also had to finish my breakfast. I was the last to finish, just about the time when the plane was preeparing to land.

Towards the end, the clouds started resembling ice, especially at the distance. Ocean and Glacier, at the same time!

I have waited long to write and publish this because my desktop doesn't have a slot for the SD card and well, I did not dare attempts to upload so many pictures on my gaanv's dial-up network. But now that I have done it, I feel happy about it. If someone wants these picture(s), just mail me the picture number(s) from the top and it (they) should reach your inbox in 2-3 non-working [:-)] days. Tot ziens!

Aspiring...

Jim Morrison


Aspiring Jim Morrison

Not too far, Bajjy!

Liability

I bought a new t-shirt from Mumbai during my 2-days stay there. It is a little expensive but it is probably the best t-shirt I ever bought. I also got a blue Lee jeans, which is not-bad-at-all and again expensive.

I came home Banswara a week back. I found a black jeans – a little old, a little shabby and to my greatest amazement - still fitting! I also found a dhinchak Govinda-style shirt, which looks more of a post-holi shirt except for the fact that it is not torn.

Now it is raining all over from Mumbai to Banswara. When it is raining, one always avoids new clothes and so did I. However, situations sometime demand smartness from you and good clothes are inevitable under such circumstances.

No more bullshitting around the bush and coming to the point – I saw that the attention these new clothes demand (from normal human beings) to avoid rainwater or fountain-splashes from automobiles or any other foreign particles in immense. On the other hand, I don’t care a damn if my old jeans is sweeping dirty water or humbly accepting any splashes.

And that’s when I thought of liability. One of the definitions I got for liability is “troublesome responsibility”.

Like the great Dilbert, to puff up my already big ego, I’ll try to conjure laws on liability after my own name. Since Kumar appears more often than Dosi in the history of mankind, I prefer to use my last name for these laws. I also don’t fear any rebukes or exceptions on these laws because even the great Newton and other scientists suffered exceptions and contradictions to their laws and theories.

Here comes the first of Dosi’s three laws of liability.

Dosi’s fist law of liability states that the liability of any possession is proportional to nth power of its subjective value or price, where n is greater than or equal to 1. The words possession and subjective are of great significance.

Please allow me to go a little off-track before coming back to liability. I was browsing through a book “Mein mrityu sikhaata hoon” from Osho this morning when I came across the concept of 2 types of dhyan. Osho says that the first type of dhyan is concentration when you are focused on one point or one object and everything else is in dark. The second type of dhyan is awareness, which is objectless or unfocussed. Instead of prakash on one point and darkness elsewhere, as in concentration, awareness is about aabhaa (very little widespread light which is present between end of night and rise of the sun).

I don’t think I went off-track at all. Liability, I think, is more about concentration than value. Anything that demands more concentration from you than normal is a liability. Expecting to be drip-less and splash-less, when coming out of heavy rains, is a liability. Trying to looks smarter than what you are is a liability. Producing extraordinary results at workplace can become a liability.

Dosi’s second law of liability states that the liability of anything is directly related to the concentration it is given. This is, in fact, a refinement to the first law because it expands beyond things and possessions into the non-material arena. Concentration well covers up for subjectivity.

What is this possession and what is this subjectivity? Possession is simply what is mine. I know my friends will laugh off (or will they not?) on my childish attitude if I talk about a stain on an expensive t-shirt and I’ll just wait for their turn because they’ll also cry about it when the possess it. Subjectivity goes beyond possession because the reaction and its extent are very individual and time-dependent. If I have a greater liability, I’ll probably ignore or just laugh off on a smaller liability.

With my third and final law, I want to get rid off factors like possession and subjectivity. I mean there should be a bigger umbrella encompassing all these human trivialities. In fact, my idea is also to get rid off liabilities – who wants troublesome responsibilities? When I thought of it, the only thing that came to my mind was being natural.

Taking the example of expensive jeans and splashing of dirty water on it, buying an expensive brand can be a liability in the first place because a similar cloth and jeans-wash can be found at a lower price if brand is not essential. Brand is a big liability these days. Worrying about it getting dirty may be a liability because it may be easily cleaned off in the next wash. If we expect it to get dirty beyond surf excel wash, we shouldn’t wear it or at least fold it, but looking good can be a liability. If we have enough money to buy a new one, worrying about it is definitely a liability.

Dosi’s third law of liability states that anything that is unnatural is a liability.

Being possessive about friends and girlfriend can be a liability. Earning more money than required can be a liability. Smiling on outside, when from inside, you just want to kick @$$ of the person in front of you can be a liability. Keeping your blog updated can be a liability.

One of my friends showed some concern on reading my last blog. One line of his response was - your detachment and indifference attitude sometimes bothers me. I’ll quote Babuji Maharaj (Role of abhyasi in Sahaj Marg) here, and this again, in an off-track way, is related to liability.

He says: Renunciation truly means non-attachment with worldly objects and not the non-possession of things.

Disclaimer: Life can't be relieved of liabilities. But I think that liabilities can be minimized by simple and natural living.

Rafta Rafta

Life at home was ever the same but it is very different this time. People who know me well know had kept me, my mind and my time most occupied during all my previous visits/stays and it is no wonder that the life is different. The effects, however, are more far-fetched than what people predicted and what I could imagine.

Days have been silently busy. Time is passing swiftly in talking with family, meeting a few people, doing small jobs at home, reading books (someone’s eyebrows are raised?) and of course my spiritual sadhna.

To be very frank and also a little offending, I am not missing the part, which people deemed very essential to the swift flow of my time and life in this small town. In fact, life seems completely changed, partially by the absence of the “essential”, but more so because of a change of potential, which I am feeling very clearly and which is also giving me a very clear direction.

This change of potential, again, is not the difference between the presence and absence of the “essential”, but rather, the difference in life in Amsterdam and Banswara. Pardon my strange comparison, but to me, Amsterdam and Banswara wouldn’t make a big difference, but for my state of mind – whether it is totally busy with thoughts of doing things which it has to do to satisfy certain worldly requirements of office or home or it is free to linger where it wants or where it thinks it should.

2 days back, my father told me a very beautiful definition of work. It gives a better feel in Hindi: Jo karna pade, woh kaam hai! Playing cricket, for example, is something that can naturally come to a child, and hence for him, it is no work. Accountancy is something that naturally comes to my father and he enjoys it very much and hence for him, it is play. He struggles when he has to learn new things about computer and that, for him, is work.

This exactly, is the difference in my condition here at home and back in Amsterdam. I don’t deny the fact that we have to work and that play alone can’t occupy life forever. The real challenge is to convert every work to play (and also every play to work!) and I’ll work on it when I return to Amsterdam.

I must also point that with all the play and easy stress-hassle-free life, I am not being lazy at home. Rather, it is totally opposite. My mind and body feel more ready to jump on any task than ever.

Another extremely important feature of my stay this time is the stillness is heart. There are very few friends (or none?) around and more so, there are not many people whom I wish to meet. I like conversations which are novel in nature, whereas most people whom I meet stumble after asking a few basic questions: Aur kaisa hai? Sab badhiya? Kaam kaisa chal raha hai wahaan? Kahaan, Holland mein hi hai naa? Waapas aana hai ya wahin settle hona hai? 1 Euro mein kitne rupaiyee hote hain?

I hardly get people with whom I can have novel conversations and still, I hardly feel alone! My thoughts, my spiritual practice, my family and the books look sufficient. I would like to talk with a few friends, but I am not dying without them.

Another yet remarkable feature of my time here is the clarity in thought process. Most of the times, mind is never fully certain about thoughts and actions but this time, things are unfolding so smoothly and it feels really good. I also strongly feel that some knots (used metaphorically, not the spiritual knots!) inside are loosening and I am able to see reality of things more freely.

This clarity in thought process and novel thoughts are also motivating me to write those thoughts in the blog. I’ll try to word my thoughts and express them here as much as I can. There are 2-3 more interesting ideas for photos-dominated blog but my poor old computer doesn’t have a slot for my camera’s SD card.

I am also going around very freely this time. I got liberated from my mobile. I am hardly carrying it since it is on international roaming and I hardly expect any calls. I don’t expect to get many calls on my temporary national number and I wouldn’t mind missing calls, quite unlike the past. My watch was lost in Pune. Most of the times, my wallet is not with me and if I anticipate to spend some money on the way, I just take that rather than carrying the whole lump.

I know I’ll not have the above luxury back in Amsterdam. But what I feel more strongly is that instead of the physical feeling of wallet or mobile, their effects on mind grip my attention much more. A feeling of loss and a feeling of missing any calls or messages is always associated with wallet and mobile, respectively. And in such instances, it is possible to free oneself of the hold if attention is drawn away in a proper manner.

It rained heavily in Banswara today and I went out and got wet and enjoyed the rains after so many years. We loose loads of things when we become adult and this is one small bit.

I am reminded of the song Scientist by Coldplay. As a whole, I really think I am going back to the start. I am very happy.

Biking in Amsterdam

Last Sunday was the biking day. Sis. Anne Marie van Steven (prefect for meditaton here, henceforth mentioned as Sis. AM) asked me after the morning group meditation if I would like to join her to Ouderkerk (old church) where a 17km race is being organized and her husband Dirk is participating. Despite the fact that I had a lot of housekeeping work to do, I joined the wonderful opportunity. Ouderkerk was 20km far and we had to make it in 1 hr to manage to see Dirk's finish.

Netherlands, as some of you may know, can be really called as the 'Land of Bicycles'. Bicycle is more commonly known as bike. A lot of models similar to scooty and other lady bikes are more common and then the next level is the Dhoom-Hrithik-fame BMW's. The intermediate Hero-honda or Pulsar type motorbikes can hardly be found here.

Coming back to the 'Land of Bikes', Netherlands, as a country, promotes biking. There is no class-bias when it comes to biking and big managers of big companies may literally be seen zooming the roads with their bikes. I may also boldly claim that except for the people with physical/mental disabilities, everyone bikes in Netherlands. There are special bike pavements on most of the roads and bikers are also given preference when it comes to the road traffic and lights.

The book The Undutchables say that there are more than 17 million bikes (more than population!) with 750000 in Amsterdam alone and it is growing at 15% a year. More than 10000km of roads are devoted to the bikes and 91% of the families own at least 1.

The most amazing fact is that Netherlands is also notorious for bike theft, especially my Amsterdam. More than 80000 bikes are stolen every year and many of these are found in the canals of Amsterdam. The story goes like these - many people who are drunk and have spent all their money on alcohol or gambling, just break a lock, steal the bike and throw it in a canal once they are near home. Not sure how much this is correct though. The bike theft is so serious that sometimes thieves manage to break three locks and steal the bicycle. Many people pay huge sums on the bike insurance. Needless to say, I keep it inside my house every night.

On top of it all (or may be this is the primary reason), Netherlands is a very flat country and biking is really effortless. So 20 km in an hour was by no means an overestimation.

Jeroen also joined it since it was a good opportunity. The beginning was slow, since we were still in the city, but once when we were out, it was fast and fun. We biked more than 10kms along the Amstel river and it was very good because the weather was very pleasant.

With Jeroen near the finish line

With Sis. AM

We made it to Ouderkerk in an hour, to realize that the race started late and we had to wait for some time before Dirk appeared. He came out first in the 60+ category. In the meantime, we just enjoyed the nature. It was so good and fresh air that can not be expected in Amsterdam (I still love Amsterdam). We saw two cute chicks in a small channel of water. Sis. AM told me about Heron (a bird) which likes to eat these chicks very much.

Dirk: on the right (515)

On the way back, the weather turned overcast but it was still good. I and Sis. AM halted at a few places. We saw a Heron patiently waiting for the chicks along the bank. It is really wonderful to see how the bird can wait patiently, motionless for such a long time for its prey. We stopped by the a park with a statue of Rembrandt with a windmill nearby (did I also mention that Nethterlands is a 'Country of windmills'?).

With the Great Rembrandt

Windmill

I had some pain in my left thigh on my way back but I managed. It was gone the next day. But I was very satisfied. The weather is very uncertain these days but once summer arrives, I am going to do more of these biking trips.

My own sudoku

Result of a not so highly creative mind wanting to do something more useful than the boring lecture it was not attending. Dedicated to my sudoku fan - Bajju.

Eternal Sunshine of Spotless Mind

Well, finally something was finally able to bring this spotless mind into the blogger light after so many months. I won't say that it was spotless, but just that thoughts were too random or not so disentangled so as to put them here. However, this movie made me write one as a suggestion.


This fantastic Charlie Kauffman story revolves around two characters - Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet, who love each other, but after a sour period, undergo an operation to delete the other from their memories.

The movie can be placed in genres of drama and romance. But it is unlike any other romantic movie - neither like the 'love-ful' emotional romantic movies, nor like the teenage comedies. But still, a drama so strong, which is more romantic than any romantic movies and more hilarious than any comedies. Kate Winslet goes first followed by Jim Carrey. The movie is focused on Jim Carrey's part of the memory deletion process.

The memory deletion process involves targeting these memories, portrayed as points in different part of the brain, and deleting those points. Like any other mind, there are superficial layers and there are deep embedded layers. The bad memories of their relationship are superficial and get removed easily. However, when the deeper layers of love surface during the operation, Jim Carrey realizes that he doesn't want to lose these memories.

And then begins the mental struggle to run away from the process (he is in sleep so can't run away physically) into neverlands, wonderlands, childhood etc. To run and hide at least some memories, so that he can wake up before all are finished and go back to Kate Winslet for a fresh start (who by the way has lost all her memories). In these endeavours, Kate Winslet's projection of his mind also helps him.

Elijah Wood (LOTR's Froddo Baggins) also plays a small part in the movie. He mentions in one of the interviews that Michel Gondry (director) hasn't used a single special effect in the movie. I don't know how he managed to move the frames of memories but if Elijah Wood is true, the cinematography is real magic.

A pleasant surprise to find three Hindi songs as background music in a scene. Probably all Lata's, the one I remember is "Vaada naa tod". Also two very good quotes in the movie, which I would add here:

1. Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders.

2. As the movie says: by Alexander Pope

How happy is the blameless vessle's lot!

The world forgetting, by the world forgot

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!

Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd

The romantic part of the movie is OK. I mean everyone knows that relationships are so good and attractive in the beginning and at a later stage, disagreements always appear. But the dramatization of it is true masterwork. There is only one word for such a drama - beautiful.

I read somewhere that this movie will appeal to only people who have been in such a love. However, I would say that it is also interesting from a psychological point of view and suggest this movie in case you haven't seen it. Definitely in my top 5 favourites' list.