In my post Final Midsems and Some Concerns, I tried to highlight some problems with the IIT academic system and the contributions of the students and faculty towards it. The best part of the blog was that I was able to change myself and I had started attending classes sincerely after that (barring Prof. Roy's where I had already missed loads of fundaes which were necessary for further lectures). And yet again, I am dwelling into something similar - this time my BTP (B. Tech Project) or the final year project as most other universities call it.
It has been more than 2.5 months and I have barely started with the second stage of the BTP which is worth a huge 15 credits (nearly one third of a regular semester). Now I have my excuses - the first month was all spent in job hunting and the next 15 days in celebrations, relaxation and the home trip. Not very genuine reasons but considerable. But the remaining one month (i.e. the last) has been a period of complacency and careless behaviour.
And this is not the case with me only but with more than 50% of my batchmates. Even I heard the likes of Aashwit Mahajan (both a nerd and a fighter in life) saying, "I just don't want an extension, anything else would do." Keeping in mind that he is hyping his carelessness and we all know he'll end up with some decent/good grade, the point worth noting is that the attitude of carelessness is all pervasive in our final year batch.
However, I believe in living life as it should be lived (adding value, doing something fruitful) rather than seeing what my peers do/expect and that is why this attitude has been bothering me for quite some time. And despite all this brooding and attempts, I have been unable to cross this activation energy barrier and initiate the task.
The worst part is that I believe I know the solution too because this is my experience that:
1. Interest generally develops once one begins the work, especially when there is some challenge and there is some success. Most of us fall behind, being prejudiced about the work and its results.
2. At times, work looks huge, unachievable but the most important thing in all these circumstances is to start, because once we start, everything else follows. I've observed this so many times and I see that during the course, we develop better and more efficient ways to do things and finally see ourselves as better and more efficient.
As it is obvious, this state of understanding is more difficult than ignorance because then I question myself, "Why not then?" And this is what I've been trying to dig out for the past week, always planning to do some BTP work (with ample time at my disposal) and always ending into relatively useless activities ranging from Orkutting to listening to music (as I said, relatively). And as I said this situation is more difficult because at the end of day, I find myself incompetent and irresponsible.
I was thinking on the similar lines in one of Prof. Roy's lecture and I guess most of others too were lost in their own preoccupations and somehow he caught it and said, "You know, I had a student who had the same small concentration span as you guys have now, but now he is working in an investment bank and with the boss sitting on his head, he can't even afford to take a single mistake. And he is doing the job very successfully"
This relaxed me a little because given the present concentration levels, I couldn't imagine myself holding on to Shell for long. But we needn't be concerned about it? I don't really think so. Everyone works under pressure when his/her job, reputation, promotion or for that matter grade is at stake. But what really matters is something else.
By now, every final year reader of this blog will become sure of my nerdness because the grades hardly matter to anyone now and I too am bragging around that I just want to avoid an FF and any passing grade would do. Bajju too was telling me not to worry as it is a matter of 2 more months. But really speaking, I am thinking of it neither in terms of grade, nor in terms of time. What really matters is to me is my attitude and character and these are the things which have their effects in long run and in all dimensions. It take time and sincere efforts on our part to develop, improve and groom them. I am seeking that improvement.
I wish for myself that work comes from within. I agree that everything in life can't interest us but then the reverse should too hold here - all guys of my batch reluctant to do the BTP. How is it possible?
I believe that that everything in life has a purpose and we are supposed to understand that purpose and work towards it. The same holds for BTP and even though half of the batch is going for a non-core job, we are expected to finish off the curriculum we chose. To think of it, not everything in life is acceptable because we want all goodies, all comforts which will but stay a dream.
Work has to be done for the sake of work and we all will understand it and hopefully follow too some time or other in our life. As is clear, this hasn't been a realization for me because although it has the knowledge part (again limited), it lacks the more important part - experience. But I believe that this realization will come for me and for all some day. Amen!
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